jangan bagi alasan

assalamualaikum para pembaca.
agak lama jugak blog aku ini terbiar usang tanpa sebarang entri baru.
apa aku masih punya pembaca?
mungkin ya
mungkin juga tidak.

terus terang, kebelakangan ini aku selalu malas...........
entah kenapa,
terlalu banyak alasan yang aku beri
pada diri aku sendiri.

mau begini begitu,
harus ada itu ini.

kalau sudah malas memang hanya ALASAN tinggal diberi
kenapa aku begini?
kenapa????

selepas spm..................
aku terus menerus bermalas-malasan.
pernah aku diterima bekerja sebagai part-time tutor
di sandakan tapi bila pindah tinggal dengan ibuku di semenanjung
aku kembali bermalas-malasan.

aku memang pernah kerja dengan ibuku
sebagai kerani di pejabatnya.
tapi dengan alasan aku ingin sambung pelajaran,
genap sebulan aku terus berhenti kerja.

yang sebenarnya......
aku rasa agak terbeban.
walaupun kerjanya ndak seteruk mana.
tapi ya aku stress. :P

sekarang nie,
aku tengah tunggu panggilan belajar.
and my mom ask me to work with her again.
hahaha. seriously?

im not sure...

terlalu banyak perkara yang perlu aku selesaikan sebenarnya.
tapi masih terbengkalai.

mengapa????
kerana aku selalu bagi alasan!

PUTERI ESSNINA
tolonglah.

berhenti bagi alasan.
jangan bagi alasan!

cukuplah.
aku sudah penat bermalas-malasan. 

dunia

sesungguhnya mahkhamah dunia ini amat kejam. 

manusia hanya pengadil yang tidak adil ! 

Allah itu ada. 

hari pengadilan yang sebenar-benarnya juga ada. 

usiaku meningkat lagi

assalamualaikum...

sungguh aku rindu untuk mencoretkan nukilanku di sini.. 

namun waktu kurang mengizinkan, 

terlalu banyak perkara yang berlaku dlm satu masa.

adakalanya aku jadi buntu dan hilang semangat untuk hidup. 

astaghfirullahalazim! 

usiaku meningkat lagi.

5 hari yang lepas aku genap 18 tahun.

jika dihitung amalanku,

mana mungkin aku bisa ke syurga-Nya

dgn amalanku yang hanya sekadar ini..

aku tau dan sedar aku cuma gadis biasa.

yang berhasrat untuk menjadi solehah..

benar bukan mudah untuk kita berubah,

apatah dgn segala godaan dunia ini.

pun begitu aku cuba tabah..

dan berharap Dia kuatkan hatiku. 

perubahan butuh waktu.

aku butuh waktu.

meski waktu tidak butuh aku. 

Allahuakbar....

"Ya Rabb, janganlah Engkau membunuh kami sebelum

kami dekat dengan-Mu, janganlah Kau biarkan kami mati dalam kekufuran...Ya Allah...sesunguhnya Engkaulah pengampun dosa-dosa besar...ampunilah kami Ya Allah...Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin..." 

aku pilih cinta-Nya..

13-02-14
05:51 PM

"maafkan sy....mungkin lepas nie kita msg bila perlu jea...bukan mudah untuk sy buat keputusan macam nie...lagi lagi dalam keadaan sekarang....sy sangat perlukan awk dan sy tau awk pun perlukan sy...tapi nie untuk kebaikan kita...sy tetap akan ada di sini bila awk perlukan..."

aku ambil masa beberapa jam untuk putuskan tulis teks di atas nie...dan ambil masa beberapa minit untuk hantar msg nie pada Syazwan. terasa berat sungguh jariku untuk melakukannya... namun akhirnya, aku kuatkan hati jugak untuk tekan butang SEND pada telefon bimbitku...walaupun dia hanya membalas smsku dgn dua patah perkataan: "baik bos..." aku tau akan ada perubahan dalam hidup kami...

terus terang istilah 'ikhtilat' nie aku baru dengar bulan lepas...itupun adik aku yang bagitau..dia suruh aku baca pasal ikhtilat...walaupun sebelum nie aku memang pernah dengar yang haram hukumnya kalau kita melakukan sesuatu yang bersifat sia-sia. 

tapi aku tak ambil kisah sangat...it just baru-baru nie aku mula terbuka hati nak belajar pasal benda-benda nie semua...and so aku pun search lh google. banyak jugak benda yang aku baru tahu ! 

lepas tuu....aku sedar yang aku sepatutnya mula berhenti sms, call and even chat dengan lelaki-lelaki yang bukan mahram aku...sebenarnya lepas rapat dengan Syazwan, aku mmg jarang chatting and msg dgn org lain dh..sbb dia lh pendengar setia aku. tempat aku b'cerita, m'ngadu dan meminta pendapat...namun akhirnya, aku mengambil keputusan untuk meninggalkan dia demi cinta-Nya... 

tapi....lepas berhenti b'hubung dgn dia...aku rasa sedih sgt.

NO TEXT, NO CALL, NO IM, NO COMMENT

AND EVEN NO WORD EXCHANGED. 

aku rasa kami mcm dh b'tahun2 tak b'tanya khabar ! (walaupun sebenarnya baru beberapa jam....) malam tuu aku pun rasa rindu yang amat sgt dkt dia! then aku pun msg lh dia....tunggu punya tunggu..dia dh tak balas msg aku..mungkin sbb dia hormat keputusan aku, and dia pun ambil keputusan untuk menghindarkan diri dari aku. :( malam tu dengan masalah-masalah yang aku sedang alami...dengan orang yang selalu aku berkongsi kesedihan sudah tiada lagi m'dengar rungutanku...aku tak dapat tahan hati yg sedih...lalu air mataku pun mengalir...aku rasa seolah-olah tak mampu untuk menghadapi hidupku. aku lelah...

sedari tangisanku semakin deras...aku pun cuba untuk mengesat air mata...sesungguhnya, hanya ALLAH lh satu-satunya yang memahami isi hati kita. ALLAH lh yang seharusnya menjadi tempat kita sandarkan impian hati...ALLAH sajalah yang dapat menghilangkan kedukaan dari hati kita...bagaimana kita hendak mencintai orang lain jika kita tidak mencintai yang Maha Pencipta? cukuplah Allah bagiku.  

aku ingin berubah !

sejak akhir-akhir ini, hatiku selalu tersentuh.

lebih-lebih lagi bila aku mula dengar balik lagu-lagu nasyid, tengok video-video ceramah dan baca blog rakan-rakan yang banyak memberi info yang bermanfaat tentang islam.

tiga atau empat hari lepas, aku ada terbaca satu blog nie...tentang gadis yang terdetik untuk berubah tapi tiada kekuatan...dia ingin mula menutup auratnya dengan sempurna...mungkin sebelum nie dia pakai tudung, baju lengan panjang...hampir sempurna cara dia menutup aurat..tapi bahagian kaki selalu dipandang remeh...aku terbaca juga dia re-post entri kak Irine Marcello yang sangat menyetuh hati aku...

"pelan-pelan panjangkan tudung, pelan-pelan longgarkan baju dan pelan-pelan pakai stocking..."

lebih kurang macam tulah jugak bunyinya...aku pun terasa ingin sangat berubah untuk menjadi hamba ALLAH yang lebih baik..tapi yang aku risaukan..aku tak dapat istiqomah...siapalah yang tak nak jadi soleha, kan? hidup kita nie...milik Allah...mana kita punya? tiada, semuanya milik Allah...

"kita datang dari Allah, akan pulang kepada Allah...hidup kita di atas dunia nie sebab kita nak laksanakan agenda Allah..."

aku tengok video tajuk 'Cinta Alat Atau Matlamat' semalam...

Ya Allah...serius..aku nangis bila fikir balik apa yang pernah terjadi dalam hidup aku sebelum nie...yang aku sengajakan mahupun tidak. aku ingin berubah ! semoga ALLAH berikan aku kekuatan... 

walaupun bukan secara drastik, InsyaAllah, aku akan terus berusaha untuk berubah mencari redha dan cinta ALLAH... kerana apabila aku fikirkan...bagaimanakah nasibku apabila ALLAH telah memanggilku menghadap-Nya, disaat aku tidak mempunyai apa-apa bekalan dan persediaan...Ya ALLAH, pimpinlah hatiku... 

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin... 

aku seorang pekerja

aku belum post dekat blog yang aku sudah 11 hari jadi official officer / administrative assistant. alaa...senang-senang panggil kerani jak... before this aku jarang tulis guna loghat sabah aku nie,, kebiasaannya tulis blog guna bahasa melayu baku or english. cop cop ! agak terkeluar dari tajuk.

   okay, mungkin kamu tertanya-tanya company apa yang sudi terima budak lepasan SPM mcm aku nie jadi pekerja office bagai?
sebenarnya aku bekerja dgn momy ku jak.. tolong2 lh momy sebelum aku g sambung study..tapi momy kata lepas aku sambung study nie..dia masih mau suruh aku bekerja sambilan dengan company kami...

   respon aku at first... "sure mom, why not?."
but come when i think of it.
aku terfikir pulak kesusahannya nanti...
sedangkan sekarang nie pun susah sangat aku ada masa untuk diri sendiri. (untuk update blog ada pulak?)
lagi-lagi bila dah start jadi budak U...
mesti banyak tugas yg perlu dibuat...

   tapi kesian momy kan?
so kita tunggu dan lihat jak lh nanti...aku belum beli baju opis lagi. jadi pakai jak apa yang ada...ngee~
ini ada satu gambar yang aku lama sudah mau kasi tunjuk...

tadaa~ inilah dia tempat keja aku..just for the time being...because my mom said she's going to look for a better office for us...office yang nampak macam office sikit..hehe..well, kami pun baru mau bangun balik dari kejatuhan yang sebelum nie.. Ya Allah, moga Allah permudahkan dan jangan biarkan kesusahan yang seteruk sebelum nie melanda lagi...tapi, kalau itu terjadi, mungkin saja Allah ingin munguji kami sekali lagi. ALLAHUAKBAR ! 

"sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan menguji kamu

 dengan sesuatu yang tidak mampu kamu hadapi..."

Allah uji kita sebab Allah sayang dan Allah tahu kita mampu...cuma aku tidak boleh lari dari perasaan takut dan risau yang masa laluku yang amat menyakitkan itu akan berulang lagi. apa-apa pun kita harus berusaha untuk mengelak daripada melakukan kesilapan yang sama sekali lagi..sebab itu jugalah kita kena belajar dari pengalaman.  

"ALLAH tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sekiranya mereka tidak berusaha untuk mengubah nasib mereka sendiri."

di mana ada kemahuan, disitu ada daya dan disitu ada kemampuan. sekian terima kasih atas kesudian para sahabat blogger untuk membaca. sampai berjumpa lagi di entri saya yang akan datang.. :D 

dunia baru

          hari nie first time g lucnh sorg2..slalunya momy tapau mknn..tapikan...bila aku tgk sekeliling semuanya org2 yg bekerja...ndak pun budak2 U, pakai baju smart2, lawa2...berbeza sgt dgn tahun lepas dimana bila aku tgk sekeliling...cuma ada budak2 yg pakai seragam skolh, ada yg kacak, ada yg cute dan ada jugak yg comot...   (yg comot tuu mmg aku lh kan?ngee~) bulan depan result spm keluar..InsyaAllah aku pulak yg akan jd budak U lepas nie...pegi ke tempat baru...fasa baru...dan semestinya dunia baru... tiba-tiba teringat pulak masa aku darjah 4, minat sangat tgk drama  Dunia Baru lakonan Elyana & rakan2...apa-apa pun aku harap2 semuanya berjalan dengan lancar dan indah lepas nie... amin... 

when my heart speaks...

hello dear readers, here we go...i combined all my pictures since i was 13 years old until this year...well, it has been almost 6 years since i left my childhood..... i miss being a child and i miss being a 12 years old little girl so much...that time when i don't think much about what or how my future will be. that time when i don't think much about this old, dark and creepy world...and i don't care much about what other people will think of me.

it's not that im saying when i was 12, i don't care about all these things at all..but i just don't think and care as much as i do now..i know it's a common thoughts when we care a lot about what others think and what others feel. but now it's obviously too much. because i think and care too much. it's not as easy as before now... :( 

well i know....im not supposed to feel down and be a sad girl like this for the rest of my life, instead i should be strong and survive ! how can i have a better life and walk forward if i keep on looking at the back- and missing my past? is it worth at all? i thought i've somehow managed to think like an adult. "when we love something, let it go..if it comes back, it meant to be ours. but if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be ours." but but but...hey hey what am i talking about? where's my point here?

i am so sorry...it just sometimes i can't express what im feeling in a correct way...how to say it? how to write it out? there is something that we can't even express by any word nor anyhow....but i know, from what you see and what you have seen before.....my blog has been filled with misery since year and years ago. IF YOU ASK ME WHY ?

i don't even know, because when im thinking about the things that keep on lingering on my mind, everything seems so miserable for me..is it strange for me to think this way? or perhaps i have a bad thinking-style after all? IM NOT SURE...im not sure at all...there are just too many things that i have to do and i MUST DO before my time comes...

i have a dream......

TO BE THE BEST SERVANT OF ALLAH.

but im just an ordinary and week girl that wish to be a better and pious girl someday...i know i should try to change myself started from this moment..stop giving excuses and do what has to be done..  

may ALLAH help and guide us all... AMIN.   

i remember...

now that whenever i smelled the 

sweet scents of rose and lavender...

i remember...

those overwhelming moments with people i loved...

i remember listening to my favorite songs...

although now that those songs are only music 

that will bring me back to the past...

i still keep it as my best memories..

i remember...

a song that came from my heart...

i remember an imperfect story that i miss so much..

my story didn't turn out the way i wished..

but at least i have my own story...

at least im not creating a story that don't even exist...

and im not copying what others wrote...

at least what i've been through in my life became 

a great lesson that i will remember for the rest of my life...

at least i remember... :) 

date to remember.

13th january 2014: it's complicated.
21th january 2014: i never mean to start a war.
30th january 2014: i've been registered as a student of driving classes.

that's all perhaps. see you in my new entry..

my bestie !

okay, so another post about my "best friend forever" this morning...let me tell you what ! she has been my best friend since i was 13 years old ! yes, 13...we're both too young that time...i still remember the day i first met her..it was in my aunt's tuition centre in Puchong Perdana. 

i was a new student that time, when my aunt introduce me to all the students there, i just keep looking down as i can feel their eyes are staring at me ! wohow. my aunt then asked me to be a clerk and run her tuition centre as the clerk had just resigned. so without asking anything i just accept her offer. a'ah ! i joined all the classes for free there. i even joined classes of my senior.

on 26th of may 2009...if im not mistaken, that was the day when i first met that girl: Nur Farhanah...she was actually sitting in her group that time... Aida and Azwin. few weeks later, she comes to my table and start saying something weird like "hey, you have such a big bag eh?"

"why did you bring all those unimportant things? where are you going?"

i just replied nothing to her but giving away a smile..she's kind of bullying me ! 

when she started to touch my diary where it was probably an accident that i brought it to that tuition centre...she opened and read it up ! im about to grab it back, then her friend Aida said "don't disturb her...she's going to cry..." and ha ! ha ! ha !

she read what i've wrote about my crush and started teasing me few days later...day by day we are getting close and closer..we finally became bff after then ! 

we shared a lot of story, joy and sorrow...that year, my crush is finally become my bf...when i broke up with him, i will run to Farhanah's house just to tell her "i am so sad !" and started to sob. after i moved to Sabah, we still keep in touch using FB and msgs...and now im here again, we stay nearby...im so happy that i got chance to spend time with her again ! i love ya babe ! 

tentang ninareyzar

orang selalu tanya aku apa benda sebenarnya ninareyzar nie ?

sebenarnya ninareyzar adalah nama untuk kumpulan aku dan dua orang budak lelaki nie..

nama kumpulan? kumpulan apa pulak?

ceritanya begini....

pada suatu hari, sekolah kami mengadakan pertandingan makan limau mandarin sempena bulan menyambut tahun baru cina..aku cadang nak join pertandingan nie, tapi siapa yang berminat mesti ada ahli kumpulan dan setiap kumpulan mesti ada 3 orang peserta...and so ! aku tanyalah budak2 kelas aku...siapa yang mau join jadi kumpulan aku ikut pertandingan makan limau mandarin.. ramai jugaklah yang aku tanya...tapi tiada ynag berminat...budak perempuan? jangan katalah...maybe dorang segan kot..im bout to give up but then kuzairey dan nazar tanya "berapa yuran klu mau ikut tu puteri?"

aku jawaplah "RM1 jak ! ikutlah, ya?" and finally...i got my group completed ! 

"okay, sekarang jom kita cari kak jue untuk mendaftar..." dorang tanyalah, mesti pegi sekarang jugak, kah? aku jawaplah ya...then kami pun pegilah mencari kak jue ke sana dan ke sini.... lepas jumpa dia, kami pun cakaplah mau mendaftar, then dia suruh kami bagi nama kumpulan, ceh...bagi nama kumpulan pun mau fikir panjang kah? hihihi...lama jugaklah kami berfikir mau bagi nama apa...

"kujai, nazar ! apa mau kasi nama kumpulan kita nie?" aku tanya dorang tapi dorang kata kau jak lh yg kasi nama...then aku pun diam jap...tiba2 kak jue kata...kamu kasi gabunglah nama kamu bertiga...fikir punya fikir...then! TA-DAA ! terciptalah NINAREYZAR.

Nina mewakili nama aku, Essnina

Rey mewakili nama Kuzairey

and lastly Zar mewakili Nazar

semuanya nama belakang kami...its just so sweet eh?

tapi masa hari pertandingan tuu kuzairey ndak hadir sekolah ! omg ! aku dan nazar pening...nasib baik ada orang yang tiba2 volunteer mau tlg ganti tempat kujai. hmm. masa kami semua mau bertanding sudah, tiba2 kujai datang............padahal kami sudah suruh saiful gantikan tempatnya. its okay. aku kata "kau jak lh yang pegi jai, aku ndak lh..."

haha...agak funny jugak. aku yang beria-ia sgt mau ikut pertandingan tuu, aku pulak yang undur diri untuk orang lain...that's strange...tapi since then, aku, kuzairey dan nazar jd bff...at first we write our name as Nina, Rey & Zar...but day by day as we get closer...nama kami semakin rapat and we finally write it with no space at all...kami banyak luangkan masa bersama..tak kekok, dan dorang sgt2 sporting ! apa2 dan bila2 jak aku ajak buat apa2, mesti dorang sudi...mmg best lh dpt kawan macam dorang ! 

thank you MR. Orange for making them my bff ! :) 

my Tae Joon oppa

let me tell you what... all this while i've been a hater of korean-movie, songs and everything ! i'd never want to watch or listen to it even though my little sisters asked me to. and my classmates also think im such an annoying girl when i said "sorry, i don't watch korean movie or your runningman." is that so? yes, and i'd never love to. the first and only drama of korean that i've watched was Winter Sonata. i was 5 or 6 years old that time when my family watched that drama every day.. i don't really remember it but what i remember is i've never watched any of those korean movie, drama or what so you called RUNNING MAN eh? 

however, that day: on 30th of December 2013, my sister played a drama in my mom's pc using her thumb-drive...i don't feel like watching it but when i saw it's quite funny and the hero was also quite handsome.. i watched it for a moment and so we watched from that night up to 1:00 in the morning ! wow !! that was the first ever time i feel so good in watching korean drama. 

OMG, and few days later i feel so in love with the hero of this drama To The Beautiful You...his name was Kang Tae Joon. i told my momy this was the first ever time i watched korean drama and he was my first korean boy friend.. everyone laughed out loud that they know i tend to hate korean so much before. today we finally finished watching this drama... it's December 30th, 2013 to January 4th, 2014. this drama To The Beautiful You was probably the first and only korean drama i ever like to watch. haha... it would be embarrassing if my friends found out about this. but who cares? as if im doing some criminal things, it i just watched a korean drama which there were a very handsome boy and beautiful girl acting in it.  

Kuala Lumpur, we are here !

hello dear readers...
its been awhile since my last entry.
how are you all doing?

guess what ?
i am super duper happy now !
we just came from east of Malaysia
to peninsular of Malaysia....

our flight is supposed to fly at 8:40 pm,
however it was postponed to 9:15 pm.

and we finally landed on Kuala Lumpur
International Air Port, LCCT terminal
at 12:15 am !

i am so happy to meet my momy
and my siblings but i haven't met
my family in Puchong yet,
momy is so busy with her Forex trading
today that we go nowhere but stay
in this hotel of Subang Jaya SS15.

here is some photos that i took
while waiting for our uncle this morning.

my baby sisters and i ! (:

 

hihi, here they are... ((:

right now we're still in hotel and we talked and laughed a lot ! omg...i really missed them all...i can't wait to go to Puchong tomorrow, my grandparents' house ~ and i also couldn't wait to meet my baby girl, Farhanah ! she's my bestie forever and after...its been ages since our last met...i bought something for her and my grandparents...   i hope they are happy with that little thing from me !! hihihi...grandma, grandpa.....aunts and uncles, i am coming for a visit !! ^.^

Puteri Essnina

cuba dengar bila aku bicara...

apa yang aku telah lalui dalam hidupku,
hanya aku yang mengerti...
tiada siapa yang faham.

bila siapa dan dimana,
apa keadaanku,
bagaimana bisa kalian mengerti hatiku?
jika bila dia bicara,
hanya aku yang mendengar.

apa mengapa dan bagaimana
untuk kalian memahami...
berkongsi perasaan dan isi hatiku.

aku tak sempurna...
kerana aku hanya manusia biasa...

tahun ini,
akan berlalu jugak seperti tahun yang
sudah sudah...
akan terwujudlah cerita yang baru.

semoga saja Allah memberi
waktu untuk aku dan kita
semua mendekati-NYA.

amin...

First Of 2013.

           I took this photo on the first of January ! dady sends me to school, it's a holiday but we went there to take textbooks. I had a great start of my new year. im so happy today. nothing seems troubling for me.                 THANK YOU ALLAH for giving me this tranquility.
        

Hello 2013 !

Happy New Year 2013 to all my readers, i hope you are doing well.
how's life doing so far? are you happy with your life now?
or maybe you are waiting for something that you don't even know what?

Anyway, I am doing great.
Super Great!
except for yesterday, i got my thumb-drive lost in CC.
it's all my baby sister's fault.
she borrowed it.
& then she left it.
when we came back to try to look for it,
it's not there anymore.=.="
SOMEONE TOOK IT.

I got my perfect memories there.
if anyone accidently or purposely took it,
can you return it back to me?

aww i know it's impossible eh.
no one is good enough to return what
that one has purposely took.
because you know what,
that one can just left my thumb-drive
at the counter, so when i ask for it.
they will return it to me.

Am I Right?

Okay, Imma gonna post a new entry later.

Final Exam Is Coming!

Finally,
our final exam is coming in a few more days.
i wish i could do the best even though i knew
that i am so playful.

yeah!
Puteri Essnina IS SO PLAYFUL.

since i have switch course from SCIENCE STREAM to THE ART
maybe now i don't have to worry so much.
cuz i just wouldn't face those killer subjects anymore.

ANYWAY,
FRIENDS,
wish me luck...
& i wish the best for you all.

SEE YA. ;)

miss lonely~

Gadis sepi.

rindu yang berlagu !

Semenjak ramadhan berlalu...rinduku semakin kuat berlagu...lagu sepi...setiap malam seolah-olah tidak ingin tinggalkan aku...sentiasa temani malamku dengan kerinduan yang membuat hatiku semakin pilu...duhai...andai saja ada yang mahu mengerti...mengerti aku..mengapa hatiku sepi...aduhh...rindu dan rindu lagi...tak pernah berhenti mencengkam hati...mengapa andai ku tanya kenapa, ada saja alasan hati..alasan yang sebenarnya sudah lama lapuk...

doaku...

ya allah,
ya allah,
satukan aku dengan keluargaku yang telah terpisah...

ya allah,
ya allah,
walau lambat aku mohon temukan kami
semua seperti dulu...

ya allah,
ya allah,
tlg engkau kembalikan hidup yang ku rindu...

im such miss lonely

Click Here to Get More Images @ MyNiceProfile.com

i always feel like this before...
but now i think the sunshine
is back for me, even though
im still mrs. lonely! ;)

nightmare

yesterday i dreamed im dead.

and then i was trapped in a
very creepy world.

it's dark, black...
and scary!

with no sunshine,
no momy...
nobody's there with me..
im alone.
im all alone!

ohh my god..
it's scary...
im scared... ;(

Edited and re-post my me.

Wrote on the second of November 2010 by Puteri Essnina Haninah Tush-Syahidah based on my real nightmare.  

Alhamdulillah!

hi my dearest readers....
u know what,
this month is the best month i ever had
this season...
im so happy with my life even though sometimes
i do feel really tired as im very busy.
yet im still happy like the cat above!
what a wonderfullife i had!

Ohh Thank You Allah...

doctor.. ha!

Free Glitter Graphics, Funny Questions Glitter Graphics

ohh?

 

lalala~ 

can i always have a happy life?

petualang.

marcapada ini,
sukar untuk aku temui...
temui manusia berhati nirmala...
hati-hati putih yang suci.

apa yang sering ku temui,
manusia bersifat nafsi,
tidak perlu pun aku cari,
mereka memang ada disisi.

angkara perbuatan petualang!
perbuatan yang bisa meledakkan api
kemarahan...
tidak peduli rintih dan keluhan...
mereka abaikan perintah Tuhan..

dialah petualang!
angkara daging tidak bertulang..
tercetusnya perkelahian...
antara manusia
berhati hitam...
berlidah belang...
dialah petualang...

melancholy face...

do you see it?

can you feel it?

I DON'T THINK SO.

even though i did.

even if i could.

perhaps im the only one who does. 

rasa hati

Jumaat 13 haribulan Julai.

ya, tarikh itu.
seumur hidup selama aku berada di sekolah itu.
sekolah yang adakalanya ku rasa sepi...
ya, ia smk batu sapi...

bukan pertama kali...
tp kali yang kedua...

aku merasa diri diperlekehkan.
entah knp.

cikgu,
bukan salah cikgu.

cikgu,
aku tidak salahkan cikgu.

mungkin aku,
mungkin itu memang salahku.

hari itu rasa hatiku
seolah tertusuk jarum peniti,
peniti kecil
yang bisa mematikan
hati...
hati kecil...

hati kecilku terluka...
oleh seorang cikgu...

aku terlalu...

terlalu
aku terlalu,
terlalu aku menyayangimu...

terlalu!
aku terlalu merinduimu...
takkan pernah kau berlalu...
itu janjiku...

terlalu!
terlalu,
aku terlalu mendambakan
kesempurnaanmu...

kekasihku!
kalian cinta hatiku sejak
azali...

mati aku,
mati aku
tanpa kalian...

keluargaku!
doaku buat kita selalu...

agar Allah mendengar...
agar Allah memperbaiki...
hidup kita yang begini...
aku yang disini...

terpisah...
tak sanggup aku tinggalkan dia lagi,
sudah terlalu lama kita terpisah...

tolonglah Tuhan jangan Engkau ulanginya lagi..
perkara itu..
hidup begitu...

ohh Tuhan,
aku terlalu...
selalu merindukan kesempurnaan keluargaku...
keuargaku kekasihku...
harapanku...
kebahagiaanku...
doaku...

I am okay

today im okay..
i've tried to throw him!

Emo Neena

When i see you with her,

i just smile and pretend like everything's alright...but deep inside my heart...i feel something is going to ruin my sweet dreams for the thousands time... 

& i just wish that you'll stop acting like you really care of me...can you!!! 

Loner

well yes,  sometimes a photo can describe all our feelings, sadness, sorrows...without even a word we have to say... 

am really want to be the who always regret myself? 

i don't...

but i don't understand why...ya allah...please cure my heart... 

Exam

I am stressed..
but i know that we will be alright.

to all my  friends, i wish your luck  for  the exam!  

Sedih

kami menang tempat kedua...tp aku rasa sedih sbb lepas nie teda sudah drama... apa2pun tahniah kpd SMKBS and drama team!!! aku syg kamu semua!! <3

Untuk Drama Team !

Bergetar jiwa dipersada bercahaya
Pertemuan harapan pertama kalinya
Bergetar jiwa menghadapi mimpi-mimpi
Sukar dipercaya pintunya terbuka

Di sini jua memori tercipta
Walau seketika terjalin kasih kita
Mungkin disini kita kan terpisah
Kenangan bersama tiada kulupa

Mengalun suara sesuri bisikan hati
Seiringan mencari haluan berseni
Bergetar jiwa menghadapi mimpi-mimpi
Tiada pun terduga pintunya terbuka

Di sini jua memori tercipta
Walau seketika terjalin kasih kita
Mungkin di sini kita kan terpisah
Kenangan bersama tiada ku lupa

Yang terpahit jua termanis
Semuanya bagiku terindah
Kuingati buat selama-lamanya

Di sini jua memori tercipta
Walau seketika terjalin kasih kita
Mungkin di sini kita kan terpisah
Kenangan bersama tiada kulupa

The Result Of My First Mid-Term Test

Islamic Education: A
English Language: A-
Malay Language: B
History: B
Mathematics: C+
Chemistry: E
Biology: G
Physics: G
Information Computer Technology: G
Additional Mathematics: G

I've target 3A for my lowest result..but??? I even failed 4 subject!!!

I wrote this (Essay)

10 things I’ll do for Malaysia if I were a celebrity


The first thing I will do for Malaysia if I were a celebrity is I will release an album entitled ‘Our Malaysia’ or ‘Malaysia Is Our Heaven’. I will also record a multilingual for those songs, so that we, Malaysian can also share it with our international friends. That is also one of the way to introduce our country to other visitors. I guess that is may be my way to tell them how lovely country is. Besides of that, I will also write poems and add some of and patriotic values to it. I will organize a fan club for my fans, so that they can also join me to show our love for our Malaysia.

And I promise I will be the most caring idol for my fans. In order to love Malaysia, there is not even a little harm if we show our love to Malaysian first. Do you know why? If we learn to love each other, we tend to appreciate what the others gave. Appreciate each other is also the first step of avoiding the wars. Everyone knows it when there is no war, there will be peace. So that means my fans and I are bringing peace and harmony for our Malaysia. Yes, why don’t us make this country more lovely by being loving and caring? Perhaps I also can show my love by giving the attention for my fans. I shall welcome Selena Gomez or another international artists here, ask her to sing duet song with me. I am sure that Malaysian will be happier and will enjoy our performance.

The next thing I will do for Malaysia might sound silly, but there is no problem if we are trying to do something unique as long as we are still under control of ourselves. Hah, that thing is I will visit every single corner of Malaysia with my fans and then we will do things that can help us to take care of this lovely country, such as ‘Malaysia Zero Rubbishes Campaign’ and together we clean the rubbishes in every single corner we visited Besides of having fun and enjoying our time, we also did a little thing for Malaysia. I will also ask the crew of magazine to company us throughout our journey, after that I will ask them to put ‘Our Malaysia Is The Best Country To Visit’ as the caption of our photos.

I will tell the whole world that Malaysia is not just an ordinary country, but Malaysia is very special. We have got a lot of awesome flora and fauna that only can be found here in Malaysia, there are also many beautiful and amazing beaches here. Apart from that, we have wonderful islands and highlands. Have you ever hear about Sipadan Island? It is one of the top ranking island in the world. And the most special historical buildings are situated here in Malacca. What else do you want? You can have almost everything in Malaysia, including the foods. We got Malay, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, and also Thai foods. Any else? Don’t worry, there are many more international foods here.

Next, I want to have my own Tuition Centre, and I will teach my little fans for free during weekends. If my schedule does not allow me, then I will just do it once in a month. Perhaps I also won’t be able to teach them all the subjects in school, but I’m going to teach them three subjects for sure, and those subjects are History, Malay & English. Do you need reasons why I chose these subjects? First, our History will give them a little knowledge about our country in the past since they were young. Malay and English Language of course can help them to be a better human being. They can use it for communication to their international friends.

Finally, I will do the honor of making Malaysia my best home. I once heard someone said that ‘unity is strength.’ United we stand, divided we fall. Let’s do the best to make our country one of the best among the best. ;)

mungkin

aku rasa nie last entry aku taun nie..aku pun rasa malas gak berblog blog lagi. bosan.
ntah..semuanya mcm booooooooooossssaaaaannn ! && tahun nie tahun yg agak sempit. tau knp? tanya lh aku...okeyh, how bout next year?

aku rasa mcm x mo masuk asrama! ;(
aku m0 ambik PMR,
tp dgr2 kata dorg...aku mo di kasi lompat masuk form4.
isn't this crazy?

PERALIHAN tuu peralihan jak lh.
aduhh....

naik turun naik turun.
aku nie VIP sgt2 kah????

bagus2 disana di pindah kesini....
disini dipindah kesana...
hahahaha...

aku boleh blah.

ohh yah..

apa aku sesak nafaz kerna rindu yg x terlafaz?
fahami lh ;)

from something to nothing

hi dear readers.
hello dear bloggers!

i miss you all.
how are you?
hurm...silly question eh?

do u know what happen in my life?
SOMETHING

new life?
how bout the PAST?

they always said that
LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.
i don't care.
i don't care at all.

how are u momy?
how are u sunny?

now that u think i leave u because of someone.
i do care of u.
i do care of us.
i don't have anyone between us.
that's crazy...

but rules are rules.
im sorry...

i don't mean it.
dear, i love u!

but promises are promises,
& i once broke all my promises just because of u!

no, we don't need it.

i will just obey.

now we can see,
once again. and again. and again.

we're nothing.

dia dah hilang...

bagus lh...sy harap pas nie x perlu lh ganggu idop sy lg.. :)

Revenge!

That's right, & im agreed with this statements...at least you get what you deserving dear! ;) 

Hello!

Gosh!!! i really really miss you, my dearest blog...
i don't know why i don't have time to update my blog,
even though i used to update my fb status almost every week..
or maybe everyday. :P
ngee...guess what? im no longer Bibians... instead of Pipians! LOL

This school is not boring as boring as my OLDer school,
but also not happening as happening as my OLDest school. XD

What's next!!?
I've no idea...maybe i gonna end my secondary school here.
hehe... maybe lh.

School Gurlz

Me with my sister, we're smiling even though we're boring...you know what? i cried because i miss my OLD SCHOOL so much...i'm not happy here...there's nothing special being Bibians...i wish i can turn back time & i'm still Didians...ohh my teachers, besties...& everything is now not with me...i hated here! :( 

Update?

Hi reader,
hello blogger?

long time no see eh?
i've been a little busy nowaydays...haha...maybe? or maybe...i just don't really know what should i put as a title of my new entry. it's not because i've lost ideas. but because there're so many things in my head. so it's stuck...hahaha! what a silly haninah! ohh yeah, before this i've said that i really wanted to be a good cheerleader..but wait till school holiday ends. & now, i've met new school. but they don't have cheers here! so i ain't gonna be a cheerleader here...ouch! it's breaking my heart...ohh how i wish i can go back to my old school...i miss my buddies there!! i don't like being here... grrr!

NOw i know

That he is the biggest liar i ever met. but why should i care?
he's nothing to me... NO WORDS because there's NO USE...
no use at all..

Tangis

Makin ku lawan...makin ku lemah...setiap kali ku ingin pejamkan mata, aku terlihat dia...sahabat yg berjanji akan setia...cinta hancurkan persahabatan...musnahkan harapan...semua terjadi dan berulang lagi dan lagi...tangis cuba ku tahan...makin ku tahan hati ku berdarah...tangis ku tangis menderita... ):

Memang Salahku

Aku ubah fikiran bila aku cakap aku hepi setiap kali dia antar sms dkt aku.
sekarang nie, pdku... smsnya cuma satu gangguan...
bila aku ckp MULAI ARI NIE AKU BKN LG KWN BAIK KAU.
aku memang rasa sedih. haninah...terimalah hakikat, perkara yang sama tak mungkin akan berulang dengan cara yang sama. hidup... persahabatan... percintaan...
tiada yang akan berulang kembali mengikut suka hati aku.

Semalam...
aku t'bangun dr tidur sbb ada org antar sms.
DIA LAGI?
tiba2 aku rasa air mata mengalir...hukhuk...
smpi skg aku xreply msg2 dia...
sedihnya bila kwn baik kita sekali lg lenyap dr idop!

Ha? sebenarnya mcm mana kau boleh jd sahabat aku skali lg?
lupakan lh...maybe nie akan jd last entry ttg kau. maybe jak lh.

ari nie

aku d'panggil pegi keja, tlg packing mainan... pas2 kan dkt atas kedai 2 ada mcm 1 studio. ada byk alat musik...woohow!! aku men gitar karen, bass...keyboard, drum & mcm2 lg.. sebelum nie ndak pernah main alat musik yg byk mcm 2...excitednya! hehe...

okay, ari nie aku ndak mo byk ckp or cepiking2...
abu safwan sms aku hampir setiap ari...
aku hepi sgt bila dpt sms dr dia, tp!!
aku reply kdg2 jak..lgpun zaman skg nie aku slalu teda kdit.
byk lg cita pasal abu safwan...hehe...tp nnt jak lh aku cita...

kamu tau?
aku suka dia sejak dr umur 12 taun...sbb dia romantik dan bijak...
dia lelaki pertama yg jd bestfriend aku.
sejak aku umur 12 TAHUN...
skg aku 15 TAHUN...
tp skg aku ndak suka dia lebih dr sorg kwn...

ohh aku harap dia masih boleh jd kawan baik aku mcm dulu, tp dlm mimpi kali boleh laa....

Memories! ♥

How i used to tell everyone, how i love to play guitar!
but when my guitar is broken, later my heart went the same way...

     Memories,
every time when i'm playing guitar,
i remember him...
i remember yoo...
& i remember who we used to be...

     I also remember, how i used to get hurt....
how i used to be cured...
how we use to walk together...
how you used to say,
"that you'll be mine forever..."

     When you left me, to be with her...
i used to regret myself...
saying that everything was my fault cuz i can't look after yoo...
i'd put all the blame on me,
yet never turn the blame on yoo even you are the one who leaves me...

     Memories,
before i saw you kissing with that Nurul Nadia,
everything yoo do is never wrong, even yoo curse & scold me...
even yoo leave & come back to me...
i don't care what my friends said, & what they told me,
how bad you've been...
yet i'd never try to erase my love for you.

BUT BUT BUT....
after i know that i'm no longer the only one girl you have...
suddenly all the feelings that used to stay in my heart FADED AWAY.

But this is just a memory.. ♥

Histeria

Abis badan momy lebam2, kena tumbuk... abis kepala orang binjul2 kena baling baldi... abis semua lelaki kesakitan sebab kena terajang OLEH AKU.

Aku yang sebenarnya bukan aku....
fuhh! DAHSYAT amat!
kalau aku boleh jadi sekuat itu kan hebat.
tapi yang ndak beknya aku kasi sakit orang yang ndak patut aku sakiti.
sampai ustaz pun kena tumbuk oleh aku,
abang2 yang gendut2 pun aku tumbuk...

wahh!! hebat! beranienya aku!!!??
gila!
aku bukannya jahat sangat sampai sanggup pukul
orang tanpa sebab...

CATAT REKOD!
selama nie aku histeria ndak pernah pun seteruk ini.
melampau!
nasib baik tiada yang mati...!!

Sudah dua kali aku kena histeria dekat rumah
KERAS tuu...

Ada orang cakap aku ganggu tempatnya dekat block
kosong masa kami wt gotong royong,
JADI CLEANER ari tuu...

Ada orang kata aku lemah semangat,
dan senang kena rasuk.

Ada orang kata DIA suka dekat aku....

Ada orang kata lagi, aku tekanan... 

DAN diorang semua kata,
"KAU OKEYH TAK NIE?"

Hey, jangan lh takut dekat aku please....
aku takkan bunuh korang...
tapi mungkin DIA tuu yang akan bunuh korang melalui aku.
maaf....

ANSWER

I made the decision,
I'M NOT GONNA MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE
ONCE AGAIN....

Sorry... yoo can put the blame one me.

Tired

Frankly,
i think i'm not nothing!
but i'm just tired of everything...

"no one will ever know what i felt inside"
this is what these idiots used to say,
i'm just tired...

i'm so tired with my life...
i'm just too tired...

my momy said, "don't loose hope."

we're just a servant of Him.
but i'm just tired....
so tired...

Deleted

Past is past

Kuala Lumpur, Damansara, Malaysia

Why must yoo be a simple human being when you knew that you're not really simple? By the way I guess I'm a complicated young lady.. always seeking for the best answer of my life. even though I'm only 14. would yoo like to listen? the expression of my heart... - yoo may call me Haninah or whatever yoo want as long as that is one of my full name. - I can talk in spanish language, a bit maybe! haha! (credit to Fanni Macias & Luis A. Arias Escalante) - I love my m0my & my Family more than I love him. - & I love him more than what you think. - Life is very hard & confusing, but so far.. I always get the best answer. :) - & now I'm trying to seek for one more another answer. I wish I could find it! Amen. (2010) 

Changed

Hey there...

life is now changed.

i'm just a little girl caught in the middle life.
am alone...
without a lover,
yet never alone without friends & family...

^.^" i love them so much!!

For the first ever time

I am a cheerleader!!

decided

i say i wanna be a football player...
but, now i'm a cheerleader,
get ready for the competition!!

let us bet Perdana!
Wira will win... hahaha....

JUst Really wantED to Say...

I miss my free time so much!!

hey dear blogger nor reader,
i'm missing this cyber world so much!! ^.^"
hope i will had time next time...

see yoo!! & all the best!!

Secret!

Hey yoo, yoo know want? i wanna tell yoo
a secret. the thing that 0nly Wardah knows....

hehehe...

since bef0re i work in DC,
i had searched for the j0b...

& I prayed so much once again
I prayed that Allah will help.
I read Nurun Nubuwwah
every time after i did my prayer...

I didn't tell anyone that Allah
heard my voice,
praying once again...

I really wanted but for no one is
knowing that i had searching &
looking for the vacancy,
the days before I got that offer to work
at DC.

BUT,
it's still just like a dream came true.
Alhamdulillah!

Ya Allah,
please protect me wherever I go....

With the name of Allah,
nothing on earth and the sky would
harm you... InsyaAllah.

                             Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin!

Here we go! I'm gonna tell you something!

I woke up at 4 in the morning today so that i can play the internet without rushing... huuhuu...i'm very busy nowadays....studying...working...studying...working... Ya Allah...Ya Allah... Allahuakbar!
I go to the work at 2, it's supposed to be after school?
yeah, & you know how can a 14-year-old get an offer to work?

  I went to the shop to top my credit up, with my m0my bout 5 days ago...
and the thing goes this way....
"haiiyahh, you speak very fast, zero one seven?" he's writing my phone number, i told him again my phone number, I spoke it in English...
"Okay lo," That an old tauke is typing something, his eyes glued at the screen of his c0mputer...m0my b0ught a new ph0ne number using my IC.
"You're working or study?"
"Working..." i don't realize this sentence!! really! haha!
"Huh?" m0my looking at me,
"Oppss!! hahaha!! I'm studying!!" and yeah, of course i'm studying...i'm 14! going 15! why do all people around me keep on asking me "where you work?" 
"She's my daughter," momy told that tauke,
"Ohh! how old are you?" he said again without looking at me, his still typing...
"15, PMR candidate..." I told him...
"Ohh, SPM ahh?" What? I said am PMR candidate & not SPM.... PMR is an exam for a 15 years 0ld student, while SPM is for the 17s! -.-" how could yoo tauke... 
"Not SPM, but PMR." I said, & m0my is laughing... we're talking using Malay & sometimes English language...
"She's my eldest,"  m0my said. hehe...
"Nyalo, i'm looking for a shop assistant maa..." huh? okay, and then why would yoo tell me & my m0my? i'm not going to work here. 
"Ohh..." we're just n0dding.
"Hah, i wanna work!"
"Saya mau kerja, saya mau kerja!" wahh!! I'd never expect to say this sentence, suddenly  my mouth is just speaking by it's own mind. -.-" My momy is  surprised, & open her eyes too wide.
"You really wanna work?" That tauke is now looking at me,
"She's in school..?" i don't know if momy is trying to ask, or to tell that tauke.
"Never mind lo, she can come here after school." that tauke told m0my.
"When yoo wanna start?" he continued.
"I can come here tomorrow at 2!" i said..
"Okay lo," he said, wearing a smile.
"How about the salary?" momy asked him. then he took out the pen & paper from i don't know where. he started to write something, the salary, hehe...i'm not gonna tell yoo about my m0ney, it's secret! ;P 
"Okay la,she's really good at the computer you know, and she knows everything about the phone." m0my start to praise me in front of that tauke.
"That's better maa... If you know how to use a computer, it's enough okay lo." he said an gave my IC back to me.
"Okay aa... I come here tomorrow!" i said, putting  my IC in my hand-beg. okay, okay, okay, how many lo?    
We're now stepping to leave that shop, whoa, i smile too wide. & on our way to the h0me, i, & momy is keep on talking 'bout THE MONEY & THE  EXPERIENCES that I would face later...

      Hahahaha, okay...now yoo knew how can a 14- opps! going 15 this year... old girl can get that job. :D

Entri kedua di tahun 2011

Bahasa Melayu.

Taukah betapa penatnya kepalaku berfikir...
aduhh2...dkt pukul 3 pagi jugak baru aku dpt tidur
smlm.ehh td.

Cakap pasal kwn!!!

Hati Besar cakap,

"Kau tak nak maafkan dia,jd aku boleh buat apa yg kau sdg buat.
aku tak nak maafkan kau." hati besar marah pdnya.

aku cuma diam.

"Saling memaafkan itu baik, sedangkan Nabi ampunkan umat. jgn panjangkan masalah yg pendek.." hati kecik memujuk.

aku bingung!

"iyah, klu mcm tu, kenapa dia pun ndak jak maafkan kwn kita yg satu tu? manusia buat kesalahan..dan bukannya dia teda buat salah."

okeyh okeyh!! fine...kamu bergaduh jak lh yah Hati2 ku...
lgpun aku pun ndak tau apa azam aku tahun nie.

masa yg pagi 1 januari ari tu, aku tulis mcm2 azam dkt kertas dan ambik 3.
aku dapat...

1. Hp Nokia N95
2. Khatam Al-Quran
3. Ada bestie dan m0 tangkap gmbr sama2 lepas 2 upload g FB.

adakah org punya azam mcm nie? hahaha....
ohh yah, yg bestie tu...klu boleh aku mau yg ndak lh menyusahkan dan
menyakitkan hati. sekurang-kurangnya kau boleh menjaga hati.

Hp nokia N95, aku pernah pakai masa tahun 2009.
tp sudah hancur.. hehe!

Khatam Al-Quran untuk kali yg kedua. sepautunya aku m0 azam khatam 3 kali tahun nie...
tp....lebih baik klu kita belajar pelan2 dan fahami betul2 maksud dan ertinya dlm2... hehe!


Ohh yah, aku sedih masa mo pegi Classique Musica td. sbb belum byr yuran...
masa aku masuk g CM, mrs. Puah membebel guna bahasa inggeris..
dia ckp pasal buku record. aku kata "okay mrs."
"and you can pay after class.."
"umm...mrs. puah...can i pay next week?" takut sudah nie.hehe..
"can..." dgn senyuman yg melebar..

   HAPPY.. oii DUIT! cepatlah kau datang klu ndak aku kena buang kelas.
hahahha!!!

Something's New

Hello dear reader!! & hi dear blogger!!
   I had not publish any post for two days,
and yeah..
I counted the days that I don't have a change
to publish my story...
and update my status on the Facebook..
hey, you kn0w what?

I'm going to tell the wh0le world that
I've got an _______.
now. haha! you know what is that?

   The thing I've been wait for Almost 3 years.


But maybe you're not supposed to know that
as if you never know what am I meant for.
haha! but && I'm really happy today!!

Omg....& I had no nightmares after the day
I told you I had.

    2010 is almost leaving us...
& 2011 is coming soon...

Still, I wish I have many days in 2010...
because if 2010 gone.
It'll will never be mine again...

There's so many things happened on this year,
and I almost think that this is the most bad
year I ever owned.
Yet it changed again.

Ouch! I had no more time left.
But I've got so much story left.

See Yoo Later...

& Thank You S0 Much For Reading Expression Of My Heart. ;)

A Question & An Answer

   Ya Allah....

I've been praying every time after I did my prayer,

I've been searching for Your answers...

   For Almost 3 Years.

Ya Allah...

Why You still not give me the answer that I've

been seeking for so many years...

Ya Allah...

Only You knows,

the single word that come from the bottom of

my heart...

Ya Allah...

Even though they don't see the tears that rolled

down my face the moment I feel the pains,

I knew You will always see me.

hear me...

And I knew since from the start,

that You will always here with me...

Ya Allah,

I'm Puteri Essnina Haninah Tush-Syahidah,

is here prostrating...

Was hoping for Your sorry...

Begging for Your answer... 

The tears keep on rolling down my

chubby cheek...

Ya Allah...

Today,

You gave me Your answers, 

for the questions that had been 

stayed in my heart for a quite

long... 

Ya Allah...

Forgive me for I had been so

impatient and thought that

You will never give me the answers.

    I'm Puteri Essnina Haninah Tush-Syahidah Binti Adin,

hereby, is thanked Allah so much for the miracle. 

   Allahuakbar! 

   Thank You Allah. 

Alhamdulillah!

I finally completed reading the Holy Quran.
Allahuakbar! This is my first time completed
my read of Al-Quran...

   Praise Be To Allah.

My wishes at last came true...
My determination on 2010 has been fulfilled.
 & now I can spend the rest of this
year peacefully...

And Today.....

   I felt so happy yesterday when my foster brother told me that he is willing to help me create a song use the lyric I wrote... & he will ask his friend to help. Coco Band!
   I had never know that my foster brother has an artist friend,
i smile too wide till i think my face might crack with that smile.

  & I became happier when I told it to mommy,
mommy said, "It's Great, BUT No Boy Friend Allowed!"
"yeah, mom." I answered..

   That is all what mommy's worrying about...
She just doesn't want me to have a BF.

   & I WON'T EVER HAVE A BF AGAIN!!!!
for this season I mean...hehe...
I promised, and I won't make my mommy
fell in troubles once again just because I've got a BF.

   Mommy is my everything since I was born.
but it changed when the world had some changes,
it changed.
but i know the reality will never change.

    I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

Ohh yeah! Today I cried till my eyes are swollen
just because mommy can't teach me read the Holy Quran!
(she can't with some reason...hehe..)

   My baby sister suggest "m0my to send me to the mosque,"
m0my won't has time. -.-"
"h0w about to granny's?"
"hey Nini! that is just same!" i yelled.

   Then when start to cry again.

"Madi, Madi! sister asks you if you're willing to teach her
the Holy Quran, she's going to complete the reading!" Nini says and knocking the door.
" Just open the door,"
"can you help?"
" InsyaAllah." he replied.
"when?" he continued..

    "h0w about now, can?"

At last he agreed and I thanked him so much.
& now i'm in juzuk 30. Alhamdulillah...
I had prayed so much in the heart that
Allah will give a help...
& He finally gave me an answer when he
send Madi to help me.... ;)

  & if there's n0 problem,
i'm going to complete the reading of Al-Quran
tomorrow, InsyaAllah...

Dreams?

I really really wish that I could be a writer.. I wanna have my own books..

I want them to read the story I created by myself. 

I wanna publish my own novel. 

I know I'm the biggest dreamer on earth! Hehe... 

But I could be just whoever I wanna be, InsyaAllah. 

Changes

I changed my blog title, I used "Semua Tentang Hati" as a new title of my blog.

"Semua Tentang Hati" or in English is "All About Heart"

I would like to write in English language so that the whole world can get it.

& they will understand my story,

it's all about my heart...

But occasionally yoo can't even understand

the story that I'm going to publish,

or the story I published by just reading.

By just listening...

The neglected oral...

How do I expect the whole world to understand me? 

By just publishing my story? 

Namia (Pengenalan)

Namia! Namia! Wah, sungguh, hatiku berbunga-bunga saat terdengar nama gadis itu...

Namia! Oh Namia! Belum pernah aku bertemu gadis sepertimu! 

Tajuk Namia nie aku dapat selepas berperah otak untuk mendapatkan nama2 watak dkt novel yg akan aku tulis nnt...dan selepas bersms dgn kwn Lelaki Paling Rapat aku...(Nama Di Rahsiakan) tp lain yg m0 di carik lain jugak yg aku dpt...untuk novel...belum lg kut...wlupn aku minat sgt menulis so far aku belum pernah tulis novel...sbb bkn senang kan mau tulis novel, dgn bahasa lg...ayat, nama,tempat, situasi, sbb 2 lh klu mau pandai kena bykkan membaca, nah, itulah...aku mmg suka sgt membaca dan menulis....sejak kecik! eheehe...aku taukah yg skrg nie sudah jam berapa? hahahaha....assalamualaikum...ohh sebelum 2, aku m0 berterima kasih pd Namia! Thanks yah Namia! 

Sila nantikan cerpan atau cerpen bertajuk  Namia, Episod 1...

Akan Datang........ jeng jereng... heeehee! 

Biodata

-.-" Or whatever,

Puteri Essnina Haninah Tush-Syahidah Adin,sweet 14 on 2010...loves writing,reading and listening...i love malay,english,chinese,spanish and my sabahan language...i love mah families and the friends! i love pink! i love mah babies doll, i like milk, chocolate and an ice-cream..music and drama...i will tell the world that im suffering when im really suffering..i will tell the world that im happy when im really happy...i love to teach, && i wish i could be a good teacher one day! but teacher wasn't mah ambition actually,i wanted to be a detective, scientist and astronaut! (those are my ambition since i was kid..) ohh btw i once been a teacher in my aunt's tuition centre when i was 13..it was last year...and i also, once be a clerk! at the same time i be a teacher...many time i be a waitress, :P (helping family) ohh && also a cashier! i was only 13 when the manager in mom's restaurant asked me to handle the restaurant,so that's mean,i also once be a manager for only one day! hahaha! >.<" frankly, im left-handed but i played guitar use my right-handed as someone taught me how to play use this hand..but there's no problem with that...&& now that one is not gonna teach me more because he is gone,but no worries as i succeed persuaded m0my to send me to the guitar class...& of course im not gonna skip any class! i wish i could be a good guitarist... :D i wish i will finish reading Koran this year...also i, wish that i could be a good Qariah...InsyaAllah, i will make my parents proud of me...i will never let them disappointed once again! uhhuu! have i ever make them feel that way? maybe? hey!! human beings make mistakes!! if yoo think yoo are enough perfect that yoo can be a judger, yoo're definitely wrong!

Aku

Aku masih terlalu muda untuk dilarang,
terlalu baik untuk diburukkan...
terlalu tinggi untuk direndahkan,
dan terlalu penting untuk diremehkan..

Namun aku,
terlalu mentah untuk memahami erti sebuah kehidupan..
yg pasti aku tak akan putus harapan...

Azam

Lagi 2 bulan berakhirlah tahun 2010 nie...

masih banyak kata-kata untuk ditulis sebelum kau pergi,

yg penting masih ada azam yg belum terlaksana!

Woh0o.............

2 bulan!!!

sempatkah kita???

        Jeng... jereng. 

hehehe... ;P 

tunggu dan lihat ja. 

Only 14!

I'm only 14 years old... But talk so much about love!! haha! Now I realized... That I'm too young to worry about love! Realized!

(July 8, 2010)

At the END!

After this 28th of july is gone...he will be my past...and he'll stay in the past forever... he'll passing with that day...

July 5, 2010

Try to read my heart,
it is written with red ink..
it is bloody...
Try to read the oral neglected..
obsolete and abandoned...

At the heart of the owner ...
Where is the promise that was
you give...

Who I am to continue to seek,
My personal sense that you've deny...

Broker!
In case you are not been peace ...
Please believe!
My spirits that haunt ...

July 5, 2010

You're the one who always listen to my annoying voice...
the voice when I'm crying...
Is there any possibility for me,
to hear you,
when you was mad...
you're mad because of love...

But now,
she says you're the one that her loves...
She warned me to do not create any
pains that will make both of you
suffering...

You're in love with her?

I've fell apart...
I'm just your past...

And now like the house that no one in...
You're the one who found the key of this
door,
you're the one that have opened this
door...
door of heart...

If you ever know,
My love will haunt you till
THE END OF MY LIFE....

Just because you're my lover...

Every promise that you've promised...
Every words that you're using by...
The words that you've broken off...

You've paid through the love you gave...
Are you really sincere love me...
Or just because you feel the sympathy...
For without you, I'm dying...

I don't know..
Who's in your heart...
Who's the one,
that have your heart...

Are you really love me,
or you're here just because you don't want to hurt
my feelings...

If I could hear the voice of your heart,
I am not the one that you liked...
She's more...
I am just none...
None of your love that made for me...

By; me
(July 5 2010)